art – BONNIE J. McKERNAN

A Hymn for 2020

December 17, 2020 No Comments

I realize no one has made me in charge of such things, but I’m just gonna go ahead and re-name this: “The Hymn for 2020.”

“A Hymn: A Prayer for Forgiveness and Deliverance⠀
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O God of earth and altar,⠀
bow down and hear our cry,⠀
our earthly rulers falter,⠀
our people drift and die;⠀
the walls of gold entomb us,⠀
the swords of scorn divide,⠀
take not thy thunder from us,⠀
but take away our pride.⠀
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From all that terror teaches,⠀
from lies of tongue and pen,⠀
from all the easy speeches⠀
that comfort cruel men,⠀
from sale and profanation⠀
of honor, and the sword,⠀
from sleep and from damnation,⠀
deliver us, good Lord!⠀
⠀
Tie in a living tether⠀
the prince and priest and thrall,⠀
bind all our lives together,⠀
smite us and save us all;⠀
in ire and exultation⠀
aflame with faith, and free,⠀
lift up a living nation, ⠀
a single sword to thee.”
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-G.K. Chesterton, 1906⠀
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My husband stumbled on it earlier this year in my Chesterton book of poems (because #readapoemaday) and I haven’t quite shaken it off.
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**Vintage artwork shown was done by Chesterton’s pal Tolkien. One of many original illustrations that accompanied The Hobbit manuscript when he submitted it to his publisher in 1936. Check out this amazing book for more of them.

[On Faith], [On Other], [On Schooling]

Read a Poem a Day

December 17, 2020 No Comments

“One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe).⠀
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This is good advice for us all, and I’ve been thankful for The Trinity Forum and Coracle for their commitment in promoting such things. It’s hard to find places these days where reasonable words can be heard, whether about politics or poetry.⠀
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As such, I loved Marilyn McEntyre’s discussion of poetry on Friday (amongst many other things) as she and David Bailey discussed, “Speaking Peace and Seeking Reconciliation in a Fractured Culture.”⠀
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She brought up how promoting poetry is a public responsibility, rather than a private practice. Especially in these days of division and derision. Like hymns and psalms, it introduces truth in a subversive and surprising way. It helps refresh depleted soil. “Truth-telling is paradoxical,” and “reading poetry teaches us to think about words.”⠀
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“Why read a poem at a time like this?” Marilyn asks in an earlier essay I’ve read.⠀
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“The good ones offer even unpracticed readers, even resistant readers, some shock of recognition that brings them to terms with something true—a feeling, a memory, a fear, a sudden insight.”⠀
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“People who can read poetry well have learned to look closely and long at what they see and honor its complexities. They know how to think metaphorically, tolerate ambiguity, recognize the extent to which meaning is made, not just given, and read creatively and critically. They care about language and respect its power. They will not easily be duped, or persuaded by propaganda. They are discerning listeners, and make their judgments with deliberation. We need them in boardrooms and pulpits and on the floor of Congress and in labs and labor unions.”⠀
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So if there’s any good time to start the practice of reading poetry, I’d say 2020 is that year.
⠀

[On Family], [On Schooling]

How We Homeschool, Charlotte Mason, and A Gentle Feast

July 29, 2020 7 Comments

I don’t generally cover much of our homeschooling here, but I’ve been getting so many questions on it during these crazy days of pandemic schooling I thought it would be helpful to have a place for some of the information to live so I could point towards it in these days to come.

In an effort to keep this from being needlessly lengthy I’m going to link where possible to things that have already been said.

Most of our schooling tends to be within the bounds of the Charlotte Mason philosophy of education. Mason was an early childhood school teacher, a college teacher in elementary learning methods, and an educational author before she formed what was originally a union for home schooling mothers, the Parents National Education Union (PNEU), in 1891.

One of my first introductions to Charlotte Mason was within the pages of For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay (one of Francis and Edith Schaeffer’s daughters). I won’t expand on Mason’s philosophy here, but you can read on it here or here (the gist of it: living books rather than textbooks; short lessons; habits; nature study and play; art and music appreciation; and a natural yet deep approach to language, through copywork, narration, and dictation).

The more we homeschooled, the more I realized how wonderful of a fit it was for us as it organically focuses on so many of the things I wanted to be a part of our education such as literature, critical thinking, education as life, nature, beauty and wonder, good habits, and caring for the whole child. This post really mirrors my experiences and describes why I’ve come to love CM-style schooling.

We used Ambleside Online (AO) for years and it was a great place to dive into excellent books and begin learning little-by-little how to incorporate many of these elements into our days. I’m really thankful for it.

As our number of kids to be schooled increased and our available time decreased (due to multiple moves and renovations one after the other), we stumbled upon a more complete homeschooling curriculum A Gentle Feast (AGF). It was supposed to be a temporary time-saving switch during the craziness, but here we are years later and we haven’t looked back! While we loved AO, it took significantly more work to pull everything together and implement (especially with more than one or two kids in different years), and as a result many things I think were important often fell by the wayside. AGF has been so much easier for schooling multiple children together and providing us with a ready-to-implement curriculum, schedules, and resources at our fingertips.

Many ask about how it compares with Ambleside Online and Simply Charlotte Mason (SCM) and you can read more in-depth on that here but my personal opinion is that AO wasn’t quite enough (without a lot of effort), SCM is too much (very structured and hard to modify/swap out books), while AGF is just right. I tweak the schedule to suit us (we do 4 days a week and take a “Sabbath week” off after every six-week term), I can easily substitute books as needed, I spend so much less time on planning and managing, and we do a lot more things together as a family (morning time, scripture memorization, artist/composer/poet study, hymns and folk songs, tales, and much of our history/science).

Here’s how you start (I’ll do another post later on how we implement and use it daily):

1. Visit A Gentle Feast and pick your Cycle. There are four that you’ll cycle through as a family over the course of your childrens’ education, getting more in-depth each time as they get older. In brief:

Cycle 1 (“Columbus, Conquests, and Colonies”) covers 1000-1650 AD, with grades 5-12 also covering Early Civilizations for ancient history
Cycle 2 (“Wars, Whigs, and Washington”) covers 1650-~1800 AD, with grades 5-12 also covering The Greeks for ancient history
Cycle 3 (“Reforms, Revolutions, and Reconstruction”) covers 1800-1900 AD, with grades 5-12 also covering Ancient Rome for ancient history
Cycle 4 (“Marvels, Machines, & Modern Times”) covers 1900-present, with grades 5-12 also covering Early Middle Ages for ancient history

*It’s recommended you start with Cycle 1, but if you don’t you’ll still work through them all eventually. I’m a visual person, so you can see this in a graphic at the very bottom of this post

2. Decide if you want the main curriculum in a print or digital format.

This is the “meat” of the system. Schedules, assignments, exam questions, book lists, resources list, links, support groups, online resources, etc.

If you select it in a printed format, you get a hardcopy teacher’s manual (TM). The TM is not an absolute necessity and only comes with the printed version but I find it helpful as well as beautiful (various components within the TM are available individually in your online resources account with the digital version but not as a full digital pdf manual), so I always buy the printed TM with everything else in digital (both versions still include digital/online resources). The printed TM includes background and overview of everything, instructions, and printed schedules for the whole year all in one handy book (with space for lists and notes). It’s like a lovely spiral hardcopy planner. I also love the printed version because I can see all forms together in the schedules which really helps with our family schooling (the digital versions are broken out by form).

Other resources that come with it include a robust online section with editable schedules and plans, book list for that cycle (available to buy separately, but included with your curriculum purchase), links to corresponding videos, exam questions, printables, videos, monthly calls, and much more.

3. Determine what “forms” all of your children will be in. This is kind of a fancy way of saying what grade they’re in (but I much prefer it to our numbered grades that change every year):

Form 1: Lower Elementary (Grades 1-3)
Form 2: Upper Elementary (Grades 4-6)
Form 3: Junior High (Grades 7-9)
Form 4: Senior High (Grades 10-12)

I love the flexibility here. The Teachers’ Manual, schedules, morning time, and resources are provided for ALL FORMS so everything is there for all my children together at no additional cost. If a book seems a little above or below my child’s particular level, no biggie, I can see higher and lower options and switch accordingly. I have a dyslexic child who struggles with reading but her comprehension is wonderful, so I can progress her to form 2 in most things and form 1 for others. I moved one ambitious child up to a higher form this year and kept another child at his form for an extra year because I didn’t feel he was ready (but still mix between form 2/3 books throughout the year). Don’t feel tied to your form.

*Another secret, I’ve since started schooling everyone under high school together and it’s been amazing. I simply pick whichever books for each subject, across all forms, that I think would be the best for everyone and we read them aloud together (using LibriVox and audiobooks wherever possible). AGF makes it really easy to pull it off. I really need to do a whole post just on this.

4. Select which additional components you’d like included.

The options are:

Morning Time Bundle
Language Arts (LA) Packets OR Reading Programs (if not yet a strong reader)
Cursive and Manuscript Handwriting Programs

I’ve used all of these at different times. You can purchase them all printed or I usually purchase the digital formats to re-use and print/spiral bind myself as needed.

The LA packets are consumable for each child and include all of their Language Arts in one book broken out by day for the whole year. This was a game-changer for me and what initially sold me on the whole curriculum. They can be purchased in manuscript or cursive font. Based on form (I stick to their ability level regardless of what form books we’re reading), and it provides daily assignments for each week (many based on their book readings) in:

Copywork, grammar, dictation, spelling, composition, and drawing…all in one simple spiral book

The Morning Time (MT) resources are beautiful. We can print out the works of art we are studying, link to hymns, poems, etc., and it has our family morning time schedule for the whole year:

Bible and “Beauty Loop” (Artist/Composer study, Poetry Recitation, Poet study, Fables/Hero Tales, and Hymn Study).

There are also alternatives provided for poets, composers, artists, and hymns so as you progress through the cycles in future years you won’t repeat them. NOTE: If you don’t want to purchase, you can still access basic MT plans and links in your full curriculum online resources, but you won’t get the pdfs with all the lovely printable student and teacher packets/pages (that we put in our menus mentioned below in my summary).

Other optional add-ons are the cursive and manuscript handwriting programs and two levels of beginner reading programs (100 Gentle Lessons in Sight & Sound Levels 1 or Level 2).

NOTE: You would generally use the handwriting programs as needed in addition to your student’s LA packet, while the Sight & Sounds Reading programs would be used until they are a comfortable reader before they begin using a LA packet. Some children skip the reading programs and go right to the LA, some only need to do the Level 1 reading program, some need both before moving to the LA (check the samples provided or I’m happy to send, to help determine your child’s level).

5. Buy (or borrow/download) your books!

This is what’s called a “living books” curriculum in that there are no dry textbooks and worksheets, but excellent books that bring your children right to the source of what we’re learning about. It takes so much pressure off of me since I don’t have to waste time attempting to teach things they can get right from the experts 😉

Many are classics that we already have (or ought to have anyhow) in our personal library. We get many at library sales. You can do kindle/e-books, borrow, check out, or buy used. Tons are at archive.org and we listen to many together for free via LibriVox.

Your booklist will list out your Morning Time books, Curriculum books by subject and term, free reads, optional books, read-alouds, math suggestions, etc. (I recommend using the editable booklist in your Online Resources, it’s easier to browse). Thriftbooks and the bargain bin at Better World Books are my top places to purchase.

To summarize, here’s what I have/use:

Teacher’s Manual (covers everything for everyone) and the included online resources

Morning Time resources and printouts. I buy clear plastic menus (MT GAME-CHANGER), put my MT schedules and printables in mine, put each child’s printouts in theirs (poems, hymns, verses, etc.), and have a few extras with the artworks we’re studying that term. Even the 5yo has her own little version:)

Language Arts packet, printed and consumable for each child able to read

Books gathered from the provided booklist for each child (for the next term or full year if ambitious). Multiple children in the same form can share books

Math curriculum of your choice (only thing not included, which I’m glad for since math is so specific to needs/abilities)

Supplies. Other than our books, we basically just get a composition notebook, sketchbook/nature journal, a clipboard (I like to give them each their own weekly schedule to work through) and some colored pencils/pencils and we’re pretty much set!

AGF extras. As mentioned, I purchased the manuscript and cursive handwriting packet that I print/bind each year for whichever child needs it. I also purchased and printed/bound the 100 Gentle Lessons early reading program which I re-use for whichever child is learning how to read until they’re ready to move up to the Language Arts packet.

I hope that firehose of information helps. I’ll try to answer questions and update/edit here as I’m able. Julie, the creator of AGF was kind enough to pass on a coupon for me to share. Just click through here and enter the code Bonnie10 during checkout (P.S. and I buy my curriculum just like everybody else). [UPDATE: coupon has expired, but I’ll update if I receive a new one].

I will also say that every week, every year it gets better. Rhythms become more second-nature, implementation gets smoother and smoother, and we just are able to dig deeper each time around. In closing, I’ve found that A Gentle Feast provides the depth, beauty, and yet simplicity that I look for in schooling. It is thorough, yet holistic and I’m truly thankful to have stumbled upon it.

“Now, thought breeds thought. It is as vital thought touches our minds that our own ideas are vitalized in the contact, and out of our ideas comes our conduct of life. That is why the direct and immediate impact of great minds upon his own mind is a necessary factor in the education of a child. If you want to know how far a given school lays itself out to furnish its scholars with the material for opinions, ask to see the list of books in reading during the current term.”

-Charlotte M. Mason, The Parents Review (1910)

Teachers’ Manual

Morning Time Resources

Language Arts Packets (I haven’t printed mine out yet)

[On Faith], [On Family]

“I am, I Can, I Ought, I Will”

December 3, 2019 No Comments

[Trying to get this kid to come start school this morning/afternoon for the umpteenth time]:

N: “…but Mom, I just really can’t. I’m working on something SO important right now. I’M RE-DOING MODERN ART.”

It was a really tough day with this one in particular, who was fighting against Monday with all her might after a busy holiday week of traveling. But as I lay here now and think back on the day, I realized she was at her best when she was making.

…Mounds of construction paper snowflakes before I was even out of bed. Intricate train track towns slowly filling the room as I worked with the other kids. Pages of Mondrian-style artistic creations because a right-angled ruler and a tin of colored pencils caught her eye on her way to start math. Slowly and attentively tackling “Good King Wenceslas,” for the first time with her violin teacher, because even though she grumbled all the way to practice, she simply couldn’t stifle her desire to make music.

“I am, I can, I ought, I will,” is the Charlotte Mason student motto so often before me, and I’m struck by how even on days where our children get nowhere close to the end of that motto, the “I am” part of it never changes. It’s always there. And I’m convinced the only way they will ever truly make it to the whole “I will” part — at least in the way they ought — is by knowing who they are, whose they are, who they were created to be, and what they were created to do.

Even at her worst, my dear tired little girl, just couldn’t keep herself from making and creating.

Yes, we must do math. Yes, we must figure out how to teach her dyslexic little mind to decipher all the words she so loves to hear and speak. Yes, we must (all) learn to actually do what we ought because it’s how we do right by others and ourselves. …BUT every so often, if we have to spend an entire Monday just camping out on that tiny little, but eternally significant “I am,” and go to bed praying that grace will get us closer to the “I will” tomorrow, well gosh darn it, that’s just what we’re gonna do😂

#iwillbecauseiam

[On Faith], [On Family], [On Schooling]

In the Image of their Maker

November 18, 2019 No Comments

”In our society, at the age of five, 90 percent of the population measures ‘high creativity.’ By the age of seven, the figure has dropped to 10 percent. The percentage of adults with high creativity is only two percent! …We are diminished, and we forget that we are more than we know. The child is aware of unlimited potential, and this munificence is one of the joys of creativity. Those of use who struggle in our own ways, small or great, trickles or rivers, to create, are constantly having to unlearn what the world would teach us” (Madeleine L’Engle, ‘Walking on Water‘).

I’m not a craft mom. My utilitarian bent drags me down & my creativity tends to manifest itself in necessary things… learning how to lay hardwood flooring because we need a floor, cooking a meal because we need to eat dinner, sewing because my kid has a hole in his pants. But crafts are messy and superfluous, and what do I do with it when it’s done??

Curiously though, I love art and music and poetry and so many beautiful things I no longer can find the time to do or learn or cultivate.

My kids though, they CREATE. With no clause of necessity attached. They do it because it brings them joy, and I’m struck by how beautifully that reflects their Creator

One of my sons interrupted me the other night, well past his bedtime, excitedly wanting to show me this ship he was stitching. I was frustrated then, but saw it sitting in the corner today, and it touched me. This is my kid who gravitates to all things facts and reason. He lives and breathes sports and history and facts. He’s not my imaginative or creative one, but he loves making and building and executing. No pattern or instruction from me, he just bummed some supplies off his Great-Grandma and ran with it.

And I realized the importance of this. Here is my child who happens to be struggling with the abstractness of faith, yet something in him still loves the abstract beauty of creating. Because whether we see it or grasp it, we were made in the image of our maker and the “creative impulse can be killed, but it cannot be taught” (L’Engle).

There’s a flame there apart from me, that I could never ignite, but I can kill or kindle. Lord, help me kindle!

[On Faith]

The Holiness of Beauty

September 20, 2018 No Comments

“If you have been afraid that your love of beautiful flowers and the flickering flame of the candle is somehow less spiritual than living in starkness and ugliness, remember that He who created you to be creative gave you the things with which to make beauty and the sensitivity to appreciate and respond to His creation” (Edith Schaeffer, The Hidden Art of Homemaking).

The holiness of beauty is something I haven’t always grasped.

I spent my younger days chasing after beauty at the expense of truth. When truth was finally something I could no longer ignore, I assumed the righteous thing to do was forsake beauty. I was often discouraged that many of my interests seemed so unspiritual… art and literature and the sea and my love for making homes out of drab, old spaces.

The irony of it all, was that I don’t think I was able to truly grasp the beauty of truth until I learned to see the holiness of beauty. It brought theology to life for me.

And it’s one of the biggest things I yearn to teach my children. Because I want them to see God whether they’re singing a hymn in church, or watching the sun set, or enjoying life with a friend, or staring at a mountain, or sketching a lady bug, or walking through a museum full of masterpieces, or reading an excellently told story, or observing their granddad skillfully build a house or a table…

Because beauty always points to the One whom it reflects.

[On Faith]

The Art of Womanliness

March 10, 2017 No Comments

[Originally published HERE at www.desiringgod.org]

What does it mean to be a woman?

Few things evoke such emotion as someone questioning, or attempting to define, what it means to be a woman — especially, in my case, a Christian woman. The overarching concept of womanhood trickles down into so many of our roles and relationships that it can easily become the currency by which we measure our worth. We vehemently resist anything that might threaten the foundation of womanliness we’ve defined for ourselves.

What Matters Today?

Lately, I’ve devoted a lot of bandwidth to thinking about and studying the complexities of biblical womanhood, submission, and other gender controversies. One evening, I sat down and began furiously organizing my thoughts and observations into meaningful, impactful words and sentences meant to analyze and “solve” the issues. . . .

And then I stopped. I looked at my passionately penned words and hesitated. Not so much over the words themselves, but the why behind them.

How will grasping these profound theological ideas before I climb into bed impact who I am when I climb back out in the morning? Will my day look different? Will I be a different wife, or mother, or friend? My current struggles and sins would still be there to greet me with the sunrise. I’ve never wanted to be another vague and distant voice adding to the noise.

So I put away my notes and went to bed wrestling with God. What do I need to know about womanhood right now? The next morning, as I woke up to the sun and its colors and God’s beautiful new mercies, I stepped out of bed with the question pressing on my soul, “How will I be an excellent woman and reflect God’s beauty today?”

The Always-Pressing Question

How do I reflect God’s beauty today? This is the question that should be at the forefront of our mind, longing for an answer every hour. It’s what lies beneath all our labels and arguments and definitions — whether you’re a young wife or a grandmother, single or married, eight-years-old or eighty.

It’s the question that mattered when I waved goodbye to the bus carrying my children off to public school, and it mattered when I sat for hours schooling them at home. It mattered when I was waitressing twelve-hour shifts, when I was in D.C. editing military plans to combat weapons of mass destruction, and when I was changing diapers and mediating temper tantrums as a stay-at-home mom.

Like a carefully chosen tattoo on the forearm, we imagine the perfectly defined self-identification will mark us so powerfully as to change how we are perceived in the world. We believe our ideologies or labels will magically make us more obedient and holy or a crusader who cares more about social justice or oppression — without the cost of actually living it out.

Too often, the vortex of discourse surrounding biblical womanhood blinds us to what it means to live excellently and reflect the beautiful image of God in this very moment, in the next thing we do, or type, or say.

Tell the Story of the Beautiful God

As women, our strengths, our beauty, our value, and the essence of who we are, come from our Creator — the one whose image we bear —long before the gender debates of the twentieth century. My Maker defined me when he selectively impressed his fingerprints upon me as I was formed. He defines all women when he intentionally creates us to reflect unique facets of his beauty.

What does it mean to be an excellent woman, today? It is to tell that story with strength and passion, to magnify the beauty of Christ and delight ourselves in the joy of God as we reflect him in our own unique ways.

Satan hates beauty because he hates the one it reflects. He does his best to destroy it and abuse it and oppress it and contort it into reflecting the broken world rather than God. If he can’t destroy it, he is content to see us spend our days fighting and writing about it. Satan is happy to see us discuss the beauty of womanhood all we want — so long as it distracts us from living it. There is a way to be so paralyzed by every new “how-to,” and so divided by debate that we will never get around to actually submitting our lives to God with a willingness to be led by him wherever it may take us.

A Partial Picture of an Infinite Artwork

We often work backward, focusing so much on presenting ourselves to the world as image-bearers of our chosen ideologies, forgetting whose image we were made to bear. God’s glory needs to overflow into every single aspect of what we do as women — this is what it means to be conformed to the image of Christ.

But what does this look like?

Since the infinite God is the source of our beauty, we could never paint a complete picture of what an excellent and biblical woman looks like. Knowing the source of our beauty and excellence should give us purpose in the small things and humility in the big things. True beauty is not subjective — there are things which are not beautiful — but it is infinite, in that there are endless ways to truly reflect our Artist.

It’s letting go of what my fists are so tightly clenched onto when I’m fighting with my husband. It’s identifying the places my mind wanders when I’m angry or anxious. It’s seeking God’s kingdom at the expense of my own. It’s treating my body as a temple, but not an idol (1 Corinthians 6:19). It’s being greatly saddened by my sin, but joyful in God’s forgiveness of it. It’s putting aside the lesser things that hold me occupied to hold or read to my child, and it’s allowing someone else to hold or read to that same child when God puts other duties before me.

It might be letting others lead when I feel the most equipped, or leading when I feel most unable, because God’s power is perfected in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). It might be keeping quiet when I feel like shouting, or loudly proclaiming when I feel too timid to even whisper. It might be serving others when I most want to be served; it might be resting when serving draws people to me rather than Christ.

It’s doing my work with excellence. It’s allowing my womanhood and its beauty and its answers to be the fruit of God’s spirit within me, rather than my focus.

The Art of Womanliness

That’s biblical womanhood — the art of womanliness, if you will. It is actually living so beautifully and excellently that the symphony of our lives draws others to the infinite beauty of our designer, drowning out the provocative siren song of the world, whose fleeting and shallow beauty lures only to ugly brokenness.

Art can reflect but never surpass its artist, and when we climb out of bed with the goal of being a masterpiece whose beauty reflects our creator for his glory in the very next thing we do — only then will the ripples of our faithfulness carry on for eternity.

[On Other]

J.R.R. Tolkien as an Artist

January 3, 2017 No Comments

I love art. So in honor of J.R.R. Tolkien’s birthday (January 3,1892), what better day to highlight some. Did you know that he was a gifted and prolific artist??

In October of 1936, Tolkien delivered the manuscript of The Hobbit to his publisher which included his personal illustrations. When HarperCollins began preparing for a book on the 75th anniversary of The Hobbit, they discovered more than 100 of Tolkien’s illustrations, which had been buried in his archive at the Bodleian Library in Oxford (and had only recently been digitized).

These manuscript drawings were released in The Art of the Hobbit (which I bought over Christmas), and it’s a magnificent volume celebrating the 75th anniversary of The Hobbit, including 110 beautiful, many never-before-seen illustrations by Tolkien, ranging from pencil sketches to ink line drawings to watercolors.

I’m in love with the art deco vibe. Here are some of my favorites…

More of his artwork can be seen here.

December 1956: British writer J R R Tolkien (1892 – 1973), enjoying a pipe in his study at Merton College, Oxford, where he is a Fellow. Original Publication: Picture Post – 8464 – Professor J R R Tolkien – unpub. (Photo by Haywood Magee/Picture Post/Getty Images)

[On Faith], [On Family], [On Schooling]

Let’s Teach Our Kids ‘Beautiful’

August 4, 2016 No Comments

Originally published HERE on www.desiringgod.com

On a recent vacation, I sat on the beach enjoying a sliver of one of those exquisitely designed days: clear sunny sky, warm breeze, the Atlantic Ocean that stunning mix of clear and steel blue.

My four kids were content and un-requiring (for once), so I sunk into my chair to take it all in. Almost immediately, a child walked into the expanse of sand between me and the sea. I watched as he aimlessly wandered up and down the beach, cell phone in hand, eyes squinting at his little screen, completely oblivious to everything around him.

It made me think about parenting — not this particular kid or his particular parents — but my own parenting.

Oblivious to Beauty

Vacations tend to provoke all kinds of ideas about life, work, balance, and everything you want to do differently when you get back. The quietness and loveliness contrasts real life so much it begs for some recalibration. You realize, at some point along the way, you may have started heading the wrong direction.

It hit me as I watched this wandering, distracted kid, mesmerized by a tiny handheld device, oblivious to the glorious beauty stretching in every direction. Are the things I am consistently putting in front of my children helping them see and enjoy God, or are they blocking the view of him? It’s easy to simply focus on what not to put before them, but forget to show them beauty, or forget to teach them about beauty when they’re exposed to it.

Children Learn to See

My one-year-old was new to the beach this year. It wasn’t enough for me to plop her down in the hot sand, and tell her to have fun. I had to teach her how to experience and enjoy the beach — carry her to the water and help her begin to dip her toes in the waves. I had to point out the shells, and show her how to rinse the scratchy sand off her hands.

My five-year-old is a bit further along. She knows how to dig for sand crabs, and points out how the ocean changes shades of blue from day to day. My older boys can now swim out to the sand bar and catch waves. The oldest notices cloud formations, warning me there will likely be an evening storm. They’re each learning to see and savor the beach. Just like I am.

Five Ways to Teach Them Beauty

As I watched this all unfold, I realized how badly I want them to be able to experience and enjoy God. I want them to see him in ways I was oblivious to for such a huge portion of my life. My eyes were glued to lesser things that seemed so big and wonderful at the time, until I finally exchanged the poor shadows and reflections for the true and full source of all beauty.

And yet so easily with my parenting, I slip into rules and lecturing that (in the words of my 10-year-old) “make God sound like a grumpy old man.” I hide the beauty and the wonder.

How do I avoid this? Here are some resolutions I’m working through as a mother.

1. Put before my children what is true and lovely and excellent.

Saturate their lives with God’s word and God’s creation. What I put before them is often more important than what I am not. It’s so easy to surround them with what’s mediocre, flashy, and dumbed-down, and then wonder why they don’t respond to excellence when finally confronted with it.

2. Parent them like God parents me.

Am I parenting from God’s strength and grace, or from my emotions? My ultimate goal should be that my children desire to do what is good and right and excellent because that’s who God is, not just because I say so. Yes, children need to learn obedience and boundaries before they can enjoy freedom, but they are never too young to learn beauty.

3. Teach them and show them how everything points to God.

Teach them about beauty that makes our soul soar, and about ugliness that makes our soul ache. It could be the sunset, or an artistic masterpiece, or Greek mythology with its capricious and temperamental gods, or a musician singing about sorrow or longing, or a movie that make us laugh, or well-written literature about the triumph of good over evil. It all points to God.

And don’t waste the ugliness that ends up before them, because it can make the beauty that much clearer. Point it out if needed, and talk about it with them. The goal isn’t developing cynicism, but identifying truth and valuing beauty. If we’re regularly showing them beauty and excellence, it quickly becomes easier to identify a counterfeit.

We might talk about why an overheard word is wrong, or why acts of violence in our world are so contrary to God’s character, or what that TV commercial is trying to sell us and how. The light shines through far brighter in the darkness. Use discretion, but make sure they understand that it’s the gates of hell that shall not prevail against Christ and his church — not the other way around.

4. Stop relying on someone else to do the majority of this for me.

God has not given this particular job first to teachers, or Christian radio, or even our church. God entrusted these sons and daughters to my husband and me. Teaching them should be a constant, intentional, organic process in our home and outside of it — at times, requiring surprisingly few words.

Point out God’s handiwork in how plants grow and in the beauty of nature. Pray together and often, and about lots of things. Read God’s word, and memorize it together. Lead them to the source. Resist the urge to lecture or package it up into entertaining little child-friendly snippets, while underestimating the power that simply God’s word and his creation can have on a child over time. Let the Holy Spirit work. Allow them to experience the wonder and joy of God as he wants them to see it, not the weariness that can so easily come when I hit them over the head with God’s truth as I want them to see it.

5. Enjoy God in my own life and allow them to witness it.

Don’t focus so much on my children’s souls that I neglect my own. How can I point out beauty to them if I can’t see it myself? Why would they yearn for the joy of knowing God if that joy is not evident in me? My life needs to revolve around Christ, not my children. I can parent far better when my heart is set on him first.

I’m slowly learning this in my own life. I’m learning how to see and savor God in the peaceful moments, as well as in the chaos. But knowing God isn’t a journey we begin once we’ve hit adulthood; it’s one we embark on the second we can see, and hear, and smell, and taste, and touch.

My children belong to God, not to me, and they were created to know and enjoy their Maker in the same way I do. We are on that journey together. My job as their parent is to point them to their Father, teach them to truly see him, and help them grasp their need for a Savior. That is why we teach them “beautiful” — because there is nothing more beautiful than the cross and the One it purchased for us — the One whom every other beautiful thing reflects.

[On Family]

The Finer Things Club

March 18, 2016 No Comments

Every day at 2:30pm, the 10-year-old, and I drop whatever we’re doing and he makes us each a cup of tea. I clear off the kitchen counter and we sit. Usually we flip through art books, listen to music, or talk about books we’re reading. And we chat.

Today it was about The Wind in the Willows, Manet, and our NCAA brackets.
Hands down, the nerdiest thing we do. I love it.